Why not me, Lord?
Updated January 1, 2020
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I get jealous. I’ll read or hear about other people’s miraculous encounter(s) they have with the Lord and think to myself, “what about me? Why do other people get to see Jesus? Why do others hear Jesus? I mean, I pray everyday! I read about you everyday!” Why isn’t talking to God working for me?
[One book I really enjoyed about this was “Answers to Praise” by Merlin. R. Carothers! It’s an older book but it’s very refreshing and makes your heart feel full! Definitely recommend! *Not sponsored*]
11 Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; 12 and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lordwas not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.
13 So it was, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. Suddenly a voice came to him, and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
– 1 Kings 19: 11-13 NKJV
The Importance of Talking to God
Jesus will communicate to you when he wants to, but it might not be in the way you’re expecting.
We had celebrated my fiance’s birthday recently and I had bought him concert tickets a long time ago, thinking that when the time came, we would be ready to leave the baby. Boy, was I wrong!
At first, we had family planned to babysit, but they last minute couldn’t make it. We tried to find someone to babysit, someone that I could trust with my precious little gem of a baby..
My fiance and I talked about not going but we didn’t want the money to go to waste. When we finally found someone who we trusted to watch our baby, she came over for a bit so that the baby could get used to her. It was a nice time, but the moment I said goodbye and closed that door, I felt this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I never have felt before! It was such a foreign feeling, like a mixture of anxiety, restlessness, and other weirdness. Let me remind you, this had nothing to do with the potential babysitter, she was great! It had to do with me not ready to leave my child. This was God’s way of telling me no matter who I find, I am not ready to leave this little baby.
But, what about the money? I get it, I’m not ready, Lord..but we can’t let this money go to waste. We can’t afford to throw money down the drain. Don’t you get it, God? These tickets were a lot of money!
At this point, I’m kneeling, my heart filled with emotions, my couch filled with tears.
“Why are you crying? Is it not only money? Do you not trust me? Do you think that I have forsaken you?”
Giving it all to God
Jesus communicated to me, not with words but with emotion. If you wonder when it will be your chance to hear God, ask yourself, are you REALLY listening? Are you ACTIVELY listening? You have to know God to hear God, and in order to know God, you must learn about him and talk to him! The best way to do this, I kid you not, is to…ready for it? ….Read the Bible! It is Lord! It is him! Then talk to him! Talk to God about the Bible, about you, about anything! Talking to God is like talking to a friend! And then… LISTEN!
I refocused and wiped away my tears, not realizing I was sobbing as if I was watching Sheldon and Amy give their wedding vows! (I might be a slight closet romantic..shhh).
God won’t always reach out to you but that doesn’t mean he isn’t listening. If you have worry, give it to him. If you have anxiety or stress, give it to him. Trust him.
26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
-Matthew 6:26 NKJV
A few days later, feeling completely washed clean of worry, I received an email saying the tickets were sold! God is AMAZING! He will NOT forsake you! (You can read about it in Deuteronomy, chapter 31! ?)
…Kay God, what’s next?